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+--- Forum: Ragdoll Loss (https://ragdollcatguide.ca/forumdisplay.php?fid=14)
+--- Thread: Winston (/showthread.php?tid=500)
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RE: Winston - Ragstimes1 - 11-06-2020
I think we've all lost a loved one at some point in time. I know I've lost 3 and I did a lot of crying but I no longer do the crying and I think back about the funny things they did and smile. You never forget them but find that there will always be room in the heart for more.
Sue
RE: Winston - WinstonsandOlliesMom - 11-13-2020
Thank you so much everyone. It's still really hard but your kindness helps. And it was wonderful to see familiar names on the thread, as well as new ones.
RE: Winston - WinstonsandOlliesMom - 12-03-2020
Yesterday was Winston and Oliver's 12th adoptiversary, the first one since Winston died five weeks ago, and it was so hard. I've really not been able to move on from losing Winston-- I burst into tears many times each day because I miss him so much. I love Oliver dearly, but Winston was my heart. (Obviously the pandemic isn't helping. It's felt like torture, being stuck at home alone (with Oliver, but without other people) all the time, without Winston but surrounded by memories of him in every square inch of my apartment, and without my usual distractions like going to the office, going out, having friends over, etc.)
I feel like my recovery has really stalled out--it's not as bad as the first few days after he died, but I feel like I'm in the same place I was right after that. And my relationship with Oliver and all of my memories with him are so inextricable from Winston that in a way having him here makes it more difficult.
Have any of you gone through something like this (not necessarily the pandemic, but the rest of it), and how did you get through it?
RE: Winston - admin - 12-03-2020
I lost Eli on August 24th and I'm feeling the same most days as you are. It doesn't help that I still look for him in every shadow. As a black cat I had to be very careful in low light not to trip over him. I do find Tiki's presence a comfort much of the time but his sadness sometimes makes me feel worse. Sometimes he'll have food on his face and I have to wash it for him. For 10 years his brother would pin him down and wash his face fervently every evening so I think that Tiki forgot how.
That much said, with every passing day the acute pain is subsiding and slowly the good memories overtake the sad ones. I hope that starts to happen for you soon...
RE: Winston - Ragstimes1 - 12-03-2020
I was in a slightly different spot. I only had one boy left and when he was gone, I didn't have any. He made me promise I'd get another cat and now I have Willow and Coco. When you get a new kitty, they don't fill the spot in your heart that the old one had, they find a different spot. Oh, how I'm enjoying these girls Jamie must have been sick longer than we had any idea and these two sit here by my feet just purring away. Coco wants to get up in my lap all the time. and is the more in your face "love my mom" type cat. Willow was far more reserved and it's amazing to see the changes in her since Tuesday. I looked at all the ragdoll websites. There are no litters out there and most of them are minks, blue eyed whites, etc. The cost - $1700-1900. Think over a second cat. It's worth going to a shelter and saving a kitty.
Sue
RE: Winston - MUM_of_FLUFFY - 12-03-2020
It took me a very long time to move on from the passing of my beloved dog Eddie. Everything reminded me of him and I cried nearly every day for almost two years. I was utterly consumed with grief. Songs on the radio and pet food commercials would leave me sobbing uncontrollably. Even as I write these words they seem inadequate to describe how much I loved him and how much grief I felt when he was gone.
There was emotional grief and also the physical grief. I literally ached for him. He had always slept on my bed, curled up in the small of my back. After he passed - sleep seemed impossible and life without him seemed unbearable. I had to put away all his things and hide photos of him, because the memories completely overwhelmed me.
I adopted Fluffy about 2 weeks after Eddie passed. We were such a melancholy pair that first night together. Fluff was sad and desperately missed the only home he had ever known. I was sad and desperately missed Eddie. So when Fluff scaled my bed, climbed my leg with his needle sharp claws, and settled onto my hip, I thought he was such a brave little man. When I offered my hand for a pat Fluff shook his head in the moonlight. But I heard him start purring…
There were times when I wasn't sure I had done the right thing by adopting him so soon. It was a challenge to win Fluff over and this occupied me. I decided to build an outdoor cat enclosure for him and having a practical task to complete gave me some respite from the emotional pain. And at some point (I can't remember when) Fluff and I fell head over heels in love with each other. He gets more affectionate with each passing day and has helped heal my broken heart.
In February 2021 it will be three years since Eddie passed and I'm at peace with it now. I can talk about him without crying although I do still shed a tear occasionally.
I don't know if any of this helps you. I don't know if adopting another kitty is the right path for you. But I do understand how "raw" the grief is. It's only 5 weeks since Winston died and it's completely understandable you've not been able to move on from losing him...
Sending you (((hugs)))
Pam xox
RE: Winston - HelenMac - 12-04-2020
When Tigga died I thought I would never stop crying and Shadow walking round crying looking for him he was inconsolable made it even harder. So I rang Shadow's breeder she had a litter so went to choose Zimba had to wait 3-4 weeks before he could come home. That was the longest time I was crying Shadow was crying not wanting to eat so then I was scared was going to loose him. I got Zimba for Shadow and I'm so glad I did the minute he arrived in our home him and Shadow were curled up asleep together and I knew I had done the right thing but I instantly fell head over heels in love with him his antics so reminded me of Tigga too he brought laughter and joy back into our home. There were still tears but they were mixed with laughter as the boys played together and it sure helped heal my broken heart. Its still early days for you so its still very raw but it will get easier. One thing I did do was rearrange furniture in our lounge and shift cat towers around which kept me busy but also helped because room was different so wasn't always looking up expecting Tigga to be in a certain spot. Thinking of you and keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs
RE: Winston - Codysmom - 12-06-2020
I can totally empathise with you concerning your grief, when I lost Fozzy I was absolutely heartbroken, I cried and cried and still do whenever I think of him, I loved him so much. Then 4 months later I suddenly lost my Mittens, and have felt the same about losing her and still cry when I think of her too. I have wondered whether I'll ever totally get over my grief. I don't know, but getting Wesley now has helped me to start moving on a bit.
Thinking of you, I believe we all can feel with you and understand your grief. (((HUGS))) xo
RE: Winston - Smudge's Mom - 12-06-2020
Talk to them...I talk to my lost babies all the time (and to my Dad, Mom and most of all my Grandma). They answer me in my heart. I believe the tears are part of the way we communicate.
I think this poem says it all.
I Am Always With Her
God asked the feline spirit
Are you ready to come home?
Oh, yes, quite so, replied the precious soul
And as a cat, you know I am most able to decide anything for myself
Are you coming then? asked God
Soon, replied the whiskered angel
But I must come slowly, for my human friend is troubled
For, you see, she needs me, quite certainly
But doesn't she understand? asked God
That you'll never leave her?
That your souls are intertwined for all eternity?
That nothing is created or destroyed? It just is....forever and ever and ever
Eventually she will understand, replied the glorious cat
For I will whisper into her heart that I am always with her
I just am....forever and ever and ever